I like big butts and I cannot lie | Evolutionary apology for the ass man

Lifted straight out of Reddit

I like big butts and I cannot lie, but is there some evolutionary reason as to why?

 (self.AskReddit)

submitted 1 month ago by cbexton

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[–]JungianMisnomer 3060 points 1 month ago

When a girl walks in with an itty-bitty waist and a round thing in your face you get vital evolutionary information that acts as a fairly accurate indicator of overall health.

And sprung. You also get sprung.

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[–]tedthedog 2469 points 1 month ago* 

My anaconda don't want none unless you have a high likelihood of producing healthy offspring with a minimal chance of genetic disabilities, (edit) hun.

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[–]genericusername123 2346 points 1 month ago

My homeboys tried to warn me, but that butt you got makes me so confident of your current well-being and future child-rearing potential

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[–]kai-ol 2214 points 1 month ago

So ladies (yeah!) ladies (yeah!) You wanna advertise fertility? (hell yeah!)

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[–]WideLight 2156 points 1 month ago

Then turn around, stick it out, even other women have to admit that you appear to have the necessary physical attributes to produce many healthy offspring.

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[–]StupidDogCoffee 2095 points 1 month ago

Baby got child rearing hips and a healthy store of body fat that can be used to nourish the developing offspring if food is scarce!

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[–]synthono 1854 points 1 month ago

A lot of simps won't like this song, 'Cause them punks like to hit it and quit it, And I'd rather stay and play, to ensure that my offspring develop properly and survive to continue my genetic line.

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[–]AMArequester 1643 points 1 month ago

She can do side bends or sit-ups to promote a healthy lifestyle and shed unwanted pounds after child birth. Please ask politely (but firmly) that she not work out so much on her glutes.

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[–]darthcorvus 966 points 1 month ago

Cause I'm long, and I'm strong, and I have a genetic impulse to pass my hereditary traits on.

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[–]keekdasneak 627 points 1 month ago

So, ladies! (Yeah!) Ladies (Yeah!)

If you wanna roll in my Mercedes (Yeah!)

Then turn around! Stick it out! Even white boys have to make sure that their partner is of high genetic caliber so they can pass on their genes successfully.

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[–]WildRice160 327 points 1 month ago

So, ladies, (Yeah!) ladies (Yeah!)

Do you wanna roll in my very expensive vehicle that implies I have the means to financially support offspring?

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